Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Why do I even try...

I try to be a good mom, but most of the time I don't even think she hears me. Maybe that's the problem, I'm not listening.

I try to be a polite shopper, but the other selfish people who stop their buggy in the middle of the aisle and pretend they are the only one in the store makes me insane. They probably think I have Tourette's syndrome or something because as I walk past them I am so irate, cursing, foaming at the mouth and flailing my arms. I am sure they don't have a clue that "they" are the problem.

I try to be creative, but sometimes the "juices" don't flow. I hate that when that happens. I would love to write a novel, but I can't seem to budge the "block" that is in the way. Mental. Oh, you already knew that!

I try to be a conscientious driver, but the ignuts in the other cars (yes, I just said ignuts), just won't pay attention to the road and they cause me untold misery when driving to work. Tourette's again!

I try to be a good housekeeper, NOT! My house is a total wreck and I don't care, except for the kitchen, in there, I do care.

I try to be a good employee and diligent worker most of the time, but sometimes it is just so much more fun to play.

I try to be sexy, but I still have some more weight to go and future plastic surgery to pull that one off, but I'm getting there. Eddie's patiently waiting and likes the practice training. LOL Sexy is hard to maintain with all the stances, your head tilted to the side and your hip pushed out to here, pouty lips and bosoms having to be perky and exposed. Try being overweight and then losing a lot and see if you can keep your bosoms perky enough to be sexy. Those negligees aren't made for sagging skin, let me tell ya. I'm so used to cotton and flannel that satin and lace makes my skin break out in hives. Sexy is expensive. Also sexy is hard to come by when you have sworn never to go in Victoria's Secrets again, because of their "really biased, Super-Model thin, egotistical attitude" towards overweight women. Don't get me on a rant. As The Incredible Hulk says, "You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

I try to eat the right things, but the CARBS just seem to whisper my name. Debbie Debbie Debbie SHHHHHHHHH!

I try very hard to be a really good friend and most of the time I think I achieve this goal, but I should call, write, email and visit with my friends more often. Ditto for family.

I try really hard to be a loving Wife, Mom, Step-Mom, Sister, Sister-in-Law, Step-Grandmaw, Aunt, Cousin, Niece, and Great Aunt to all of my extended family because I cherish them all and love them to bits. My heart overflows with love for all my people. I'll have my people call your people.

I try to be an obedient wife and if you believe that line of bull you don't know me very well. Nah, not true, I do try to obey Eddie's wishes, when I want to.

Why do I try...because I love all of my family and friends and I try really hard because of them and if you are reading this blog then you are one of them.


Kelly said...

I fully understand the "stopping in the middle of the aisle with the buggy." That irritates me more than anything.

Insane Mama said...

Isn't it weird that sometimes the littlest of things can really get to us? and other times, it's OK???? I don't get it! Don't worry, I can' keep my house clean either

shae said...

What can I add to that kind of rant...with my kind of life...Breathe....Lexapro...breathe....klonapin...breathe...screwdriver....breathe.

Gail said...

I remember when we were young and you had what you are calling Tourette's. I still laugh thinking about when someone aggrevated you how you would have a mean look on your face as you mouthed silent, undetectable words and ending the Tourettes episode with uncontrolled laughter. You don't have a mean bone in your body.
Please e-mail me at if you get a chance. I need your address because I have some pictures of grandmother and granddaddy I would like to send you.
Love ya!