Sunday, July 06, 2008

Vegging out...

I am literally vegging out...Eddie and I had boiled cabbage, corn-on-the-cob, tomatoes, onions, string beans, and cornbread for supper last night and it has made me feel so lethargic. I guess I should have eaten some protein with my veggies. Why does really good southern cooking make you feel like a blob? It wasn't fried. It wasn't really fattening foods. I guess it was full of carbs, though, and that's why I am still feeling the effects. I'm totally useless this morning. Eddie would say, "What's your excuse every other morning?" How rude! Other considerations for my malaise may include possible side effects of chronic constipation. Since surgery my inner workings have completely reversed and I am plagued with the opposite of before. I swear I am more irritable this way. My dearly departed, Great Aunt Gladys would have told me I need some Gas-X. I have never suffered from this form of torture before, 'N let me tell ya, it's a doozey, very unpleasant, worse than PMS.

So here's another touchy subject for you to contemplate. Age! Growing Old! Getting on up there! Over the Hill! 50-something and I have found, from experience, with age comes other horrors. I can remember (but I'm sure my memory will go soon, I hear it fades with age), when I was very young (just a tenderling at the time) sitting transfixed on my Grandmother Clark's bathroom floor watching and observing her as she plucked chin hairs and shaved (no lie, SHAVED!) her moustache hairs. I was appalled even at that young of an age, thinking girls just shouldn't have facial hair. Am I right or am I right? Girls are not supposed to have facial hair. I hate hormones! So when did I grow up to be my Grandmother Clark????? I now have to stand just inside of my bathroom window with the sun just right, leaned up on my tiptoes in an unbalanced stance with my face plastered into a 10X magnifying Beauty (HAH!) mirror with tweezers in one hand and mini-scissors in the other in order to snatch, pluck, tug, snip, and cajole all the hairs off my chinny, chin-chin. Not to mention all the ones above my upper lip. Okay, when did all these wrinkles and imperfections (some people call them age-spots) pop out all over my face (I thought only Leopards have spots). They weren't there yesterday. I swear they weren't, honest! Don't you believe me? and where did all these gray hairs come from (and now I have the ability to count all the hairs on my head, cause there are so few of them)? I have even started talking to and complimenting my hair in the shower, hoping the hair follicles will stay planted within their individual root shafts. Hey, I have to do something! What does it hurt, if I've gone completely insane and started talking to my hair? Would it be to nutty to even wish they might multiply? Actually, I think I know where the gray hairs came from and Shannon should be ashamed of herself for causing each and every one of them, LOL! Nah, her daddy may have caused a few. Ya, think? I want to know who came up with the saying, "With age comes wisdom?" I have decided I don't want to be wise! I want to be young and beautiful. Where is that "Fountain of Youth?" Let me at it!

I am glad I got that off my chest, and no, I don't have any chest hairs, thank you very much! No back hair either, Thank Heavens! I really shouldn't complain, should I? I'm alive and in love with my newlywed (almost five years now) husband. I have a wonderful family and a beautiful, loving daughter. That should be enough and it is. Really, it is, at this moment, I am truly happy with my bald-headed, wrinkly, hairy-faced, flabby-skinned, constipated, thinner, (and it appears, totally self-absorbed), useless self.

And how is your day?

54 comments:

Gail said...

Debbie,
You are looking more and more like your mom in her younger years. I can just see your mom with a very serious and stern look, raising her eyebrows as she said to you, "Debbie, you had better take care of yourself. Are you taking your vitamins, any medicines the doctors have perscribed for you and following their orders? I am proud of you but if you think I am going to sit back and not try to get you to do what's best for you and not help you, you've got another thing coming. She would have ended this comment with her infamous giggly laugh. I loved her. I always remember her telling you something and ending it with "you've got another thing coming". I always wondered what that other thing that was coming. Knowing your mom it was a big bowl of ice cream and a hug. (You look beautiful and healthy.)

GingerJar said...

Hum....now that I am closer to 51 than 50...I think those 10X magnifing "beauty" mirror's were invented to torture us into plucking every eyebrown hair, chin chin hair, mustash hair and anywhere but on the head hair. If I had of bought one at 40 I would have been bald from choosing the grey's from the brown's LOL. Anyway...at least we are alive, and we have so many options for removing these "hairs". Have you tried the hot wax you do in the microwave...it has a little spatula that shows if the wax is too hot. It works pretty well and is much faster (all the pain at once and then you're over it). Also...I hate laxatives, but I have discovered "Chinese diet tea" that is in the grocery section with the Asian foods. It has a "natural" laxative effect...which clears up the bloat. Don't want to plan anything exciting if you drink it in the morning....you will definately need to be close to the facilities! Anyway....thanks for your comment on my blog. I don't think you would be a whiney Wendy...I shouldn't even complain, but darn my legs hurt from getting up and down and up and down and ....you get the drift. That night I had one of the PCP's (nurse aides) that wasn't very concerned about answering the call light...come to think of it he played on the internet most of the night while I worked my tail off....

Hope today was a brighter day Sunflower!

A Mommy in Jeans and High Heels said...

hehe You're adorable!! Just dropping in from SITS!

blueviolet said...

I can relate to some of this nonsense. It's extremely uncool, this aging thing. Happy SITS day.

Charmaine said...

Hey, at least you get rid of those chinny chin chin hairs (I have some I get rid of too) - there are plenty of women out there who walk around with their own little goatees. Gross.

Blessings Abound said...

I know I need my protein or I don't have the strength or energy to get through the day. You're so funny!

wendy said...

Hahaha!! I remember someone telling me about hairs on her face a few years back and staring in horror! I now have 1 that comes back from time to time. ACK!!

Happy SITS day!

April said...

Oh, the process of aging...I can't think of anything more fun than that! :)

Jeanne said...

The weird thing is, it seems to happen all at once. One day you look in the bathroom mirror and you're fine, and the very next morning -- chin hairs! Aack! mustache! Eek! wrinkles reminiscent of the Grand Canyon! Aargh! How does that happen over night?

Astrid said...

Happy SITS day!

Ack!!! The horrors that come with growing older! I'm in my mid thirties and I'm already experiencing some of what you described. I think I need to get me one of those 10x magnifying lens!

Creative Junkie said...

Sigh - since reaching 40, I've been worried about seeing hair in places that no hair is supposed to be.

So far, so good.

kalea_kane said...

I hear you! I am 41 now, and it is like I turned this HUGE corner into the land of gray hair. Drives me nuts! I still have blond too, but these gray "highlights" make me nuts and if I hear one more person tell me how nice they look...I'll hurl. :)

Karen said...

I am right there with you at the tender age of 31. I've been keeping tweezers in my purse since I was 26 so that I can use natural light when I'm in the car...I flip down the vanity mirror and tweeze away.

Preston said...

It was the corn. Corn on the cob and corn bread together. Whew. And cabbage (although I adore it) always makes me feel bloated. All you needed to add was a little beans for the protein.

As far as getting old, I'm 48 and everything is going grey. Why is it that when men start to lose hair on the top, it starts to grow more in the ears and nose and on the back? It just doesn't make sense!

Oh and happy SITS day!

jubilee said...

So . . . THIS is what I have to look forward to?!

Reluctant Housewife said...

You're very funny!

Vickie said...

Ah, so that is what I have to do to keep my hair. Talk to them in the shower!

Brittany said...

At 23, I have one hair on my chin that I have to pluck. Please tell me it doesn't get worse!

Debbie said...

Okay I'm not 40 yet and I've been plucking chin hairs for several years already! What is UP with that and WHY didn't anybody tell me this was coming??? Seriously, isn't PMS enough??? Aging is NOT graceful - at least not in my world...
Oh - and a suggestion for the constipation is powdered vitamin C (I found some at GNC) - 1/2 tsp a day mixed in some juice has helped my daughter TRE-mendously!

Kelly Deneen said...

I am having those issues at 30!! What am I going to do at 50? lol.

LoraBB said...

Sounds fantastic, haha. I just hit 30 and have been steadily declining in the last 4 months and now have something to look forward to! Glad to know it just keeps getting better! : )

ScrappinAway said...

Well I am only 33 and I have the face hair problem thanks to PCOS and I have always put blonde in my hair and this fall I decided to go to my natural color and apparently I have a ton of gray...so back to the blonde!
Happy SITS day!

Thrifty and Chic Mom said...

I try not to think about aging, yet anyway!

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage said...

While we will get older, we also get wiser...hopefully!

texasdaisey said...

I am 45 & all of these things were a shock to me also so I have made it my personal duty to be sure those younger than me know the full story of what is ahead. I always say, "I am the one who will tell you the real truth."
Debbie

mommytoalot said...

Eeek!! I am 41 and have a lot of aging issues...
xo

Joy said...

Debbie, I hear ya on the facial hair. I hate even writing that phrase - "facial hair" - in reference to myself!! I started having to use Sally cream hair remover last year much to my dismay. But it is a trivial thing in relation to the big picture, or so I tell myself! ;o)

Erin said...

Can I just say that some women in their 20s have to wax their 'staches too? AND have grey hairs? I'm not naming names *cough* but I know of at least one *cough sigh*

Rhonda said...

I went to get my eyebrows done before I went on holidays and she asked if I wanted her to get my upper lip too.

Nice. lol

Cammie said...

yeah um....Ditto Erin..only change 20s to 30s

Michelle said...

oh...dont tell me this. i'm *only* 35...

Elizabeth M Thompson said...

Too funny! Have a wonderful SITS day!

Katie said...

That's hilarious! :)

Melinda said...

Oh the process of aging. I just turned 30 this year and I am having a hard enough time with the number : (

angie said...

Well, at least we get rid of the hairs. I don't get the women that don't!

Stesha said...

This post is so funny... I am not laughing at your hairs, just the post. Okay, I will stop now.

Patrice said...

LOL I love your humor! At least you are able to laugh about the things that bother you about getting older! That's important!

Dream Girl said...

The ability to laugh brings beauty. As Audrey Hepburn says, "I love people who make me laugh. I honest think it's the thing I like most - to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person." So keep the humor you so clearly have, and the beauty will, whether you see it in yourself or not, stick around. Everyone else will surely notice =]

Marrdy said...

I am feeling your pain. Getting older really is not something very pleasant!

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

#1 - Chin hair... some guy wants to make a million, come up with a cheap, easy LEGIT way to get rid of it.

#2 - I just has funkipoo as my word verification on your first post, and now I have desuckie...

I'm laughing really hard now.

Blue Castle said...

My husband was just pointing out my whiskers the other day.......ack! Why does this happen? It's horrible.

WheresMyAngels said...

Can you take Miralax? That has worked miracles for my daughter and husband.

If I ate all those kinds of cooked veggies, I would of blew up. They fill me with an awful gas.

I've been plucking chin hairs since my 20's :(

Carina said...

Don't sound pleasent at all! After snooping around you blog a bit, I have to ask: overall are you content with your surgery?

Irene said...

Oh My....aging. I am obsessed with the subject, unfortunately. Why do men seem to have a better deal when it comes to getting older?

Zen Ventures said...

I believe that the best thing you can do for yourself is accept and love it! All of us will someday be at that point- old and wrinkly! beauty is but a passing fancy. The key is- are u ready to be there? HA!

blognut said...

Admittedly, I did not carefully read all of the comments on this post. However, at first glance, it looks like all you are missing is someone saying that people are like fine wine and they just get better with age. So, there ya' go. (No, I don't believe it either!)

Michelle said...

Eesh. You're making me want to NEVEr grow old. Ick ick ick!

Melissa Lester said...

My husband keeps reminding me that with my birthday this month, I'll be leaving the desirable age bracket that advertisers target and entering the middle age bracket. But hopefully I'll manage the shift with grace, even if my waist is a little bigger than it was last year.

mrsbear said...

Facial hair on women, it's just not right. I'm always appalled when I find one while I'm checking myself in the car's vanity mirror. We should start a movement, right a petition, ban facial hair from growing on women. Could work.

Anna Lefler said...

Like the saying goes, "Growing older is not for sissies!" I'm finding that out myself...

Loved this post!

Happy Holidays!

:^) Anna

Michelle Sybert said...

Just read a little about your GBS. COngrats on the weight loss! Woot Woot!!

Jerrie said...

I got my first gray hairs at 18. Now that is nice. And have had facial hair issues since my son was born (I was 21)...I am thinking at 50 these things will reverse - something my 34-year old self is looking forward too - I am very optimistic.

mrsmouthy said...

I get a new chin hair every year, and have for about 15 years. By age 50 I should be able to pick up seasonal work as Santa Claus. Gross!

Kristy said...

I'm 28 and am already getting gray hairs and half of my hair seems to fall out with every shower.