Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Lies can hurt, but only if they are believed. Do you always believe?

Lies can hurt, but only if they are believed.
The liar tells all; their conscience relieved,
But what about the one the lie was foiled upon?
The "once-was" honesty of the relationship is now all gone!
The innocent one is left weary, battered and heart-broken.
What remains is shattering betrayal and thoughts left unspoken.
There is so much pain, anger, frustration, and tears;
When will I trust you again? It may take years!

I am left to question everything that you do and say!
What price is it, I will ultimately be asked to pay;
For all of the lying and your consummate deceit?
In my mind's eye, I am sadly forced to retreat
Into myself I flee to escape and hide;
Not as a matter of principal or pride,
But to shield away from anymore reigning blows!
When can I trust you again? Who knows!

I have always believed in you, but I cannot afford to anymore.
Your lies have bewildered me; quaked me to the very core.
I cannot withstand another onslaught of your forked tongue.
One day when you too are old; not so tender, fresh and young;
It is with ferverence that I pray you will not have to contend with such,
Because even though I cannot trust you; I love you so very much!

I believe that it is not just the first cut that is the deepest; although the first stab can produce the mortal wound, all the subsequent thrusts can cause the victim to bleed just as much, if not more.

Don't ask for an interpretation of the above printed material, as I am truly unable to interpret my heart, mind and soul with an explanation to anyone else. I feel that is why I am writing prose in the first place. Just know that it is an attempt at cathartic writing and the ramblings of a wounded spirit. Please try to love me just as I am even if that has to include all my inevitable flaws.


Insane Mama said...

Whao mama what's going on? Who lied to you? Who hurt you? Do you want me to kick their butt for you?

Insane Mama said...

I love you just the way you are..... I should have figured it was your daughter, they do That!
"This too shall pass"

Shae said...

Kids...Can't live with em...Can't kill em.

All I can say is: Granchildren (God bless their little souls) are the reward we get for not killing and eating our own young.

Renee said...

Call me if you need to. I will be in all week. I have hearings in the morning, but will be around all afternoon. Hope you get to feeling better. Kids have a way of cutting us straight through to the core.

GingerJar said...

Hi, thanks for sending me the comment, today is the first time the internet would let me respond back. I am feeling your pain...depression is that way. Time may not heal all, but it sure helps you to forget and forgive.

Here all is good, got the power back on, wet spots are drying out, the insurance adjuster comes Friday and we will be able to start our repairs. We lost the entire ridge run on the double wide and lots of shingles, the storm door, and underspinning, but we are safe, healthy and *now*!