How do you get back that which is lost? I don't think you can! It's amazing what the human mind forgets, but I am afraid that the heart doesn't. I think that you can only go forward and hopefully the changes will be very miniscule and not affect how you view the world as a whole.
Some things are so traumatic they are never forgotten, the loss of a loved one, for example, is a painful experience you never forget. I have suffered the loss of both my parents and I miss them terribly. Lately, I am experiencing a renewed sense of grief for my mother as I go through a little crisis. I need her to talk to. She would help me see what I cannot. She was my sounding board. Her advice was always right on the mark. I treasured her friendship, she grounded me and kept me sane as no one else ever has. I had to deal with a few crisis during her illness and since she passed and they were doozies. It would be nice to have her here with me again, but only if she did not have cancer and not in any pain.
My dear, sweet hubby is a love and is there for me to lean on, but he only sees how the crisis affects me and cannot see through my pain to the other side of time any more than I can. I can only ride this out and see what the future will bring.
I keep having to be knocked in the head to remember that I am not in control of anything in this life and have to "Let Go and Let God." It is not in my capacity to change the world or anything/anyone in it. I just keep surfing the waves of my emotions. I wish my momma was still here to help see me through.
March 16th: Saturday Sharefest
3 days ago