Baby Shawn

Today is my grandson's birth date, Wednesday, March 25, 2009. He weighs 9 pounds, 5 ounces and is 21 inches long. Shannon agreed to allow me the honor of posting the first pic.

I'm officially on vacation...

but I don't know if it should be really considered vacationing. I worked overtime today and got all my cases done. I am headed to my daughter's Tuesday (I have a dental appt. Monday) to go with her for her stress test. We will know sometime that afternoon whether she will have a C-section on Wednesday or if she will just be induced. I am washing clothes and spending time with Eddie since I will be away for two weeks. Then when I get to my daughter's I expect to hit the ground running as I will be trying to take care of my daughter and her husband so they can take care of "my little man."

Can't wait to see him. Wow, it's not gonna be long now. Will let you all know.

Visitation, and Baby update

Went to the funeral home for the visitation of my friend's wife. There were a lot of people there. Lots of flowers. Lots of hugging and crying. Sad times. I ordered a red and white spray and after I got there and was looking at the flowers I remembered they were Auburn fans, but a lot of other people ordered red and white flowers as well, so I don't feel so bad. My friend said that he woke up this morning and his wife's dog that was in the car with her when she died was sitting on the front porch. It took him two days to get home and 11 miles, but he came home. Very touching.

For my baby update, we have no baby and probably won't until next Wednesday. He has not budged and there is no change from last week's report. The doctor said if Shannon does not go into labor by next Tuesday, he will do a sonogram to check Shawn's size and if he is over 8 pounds at that time the doctor will schedule Shannon for a C-section on Wednesday, the 25th.

That's all for now folks. Hope you all had a great St. Patrick's day.

Top of the Mornin' to ya!

Faith and Begorah, it's St. Patty's Day! Here's hoping that you always take the high road! Cheers!

Night-time phone calls for all the wrong reasons

I got woke up at 2:38a.m. this morning, thinking it was Shannon, telling me to come 'cause the baby was on the way, but no, it was a friend/neighbor telling me that his wife had died. I thought he meant she had just died and was right there in the room with him, but no, he said she had died coming home from work somewhere between 6:00 and 7:00p.m. and was in a car wreck (but the police officer told him she was already dead when the wreck happened, I guess she had a heart attack. The friend said his wife had told him she was not feeling well before she went to work). So why was he calling our house at 2:38p.m.? He says he didn't mean to wake us up, but that he just couldn't sleep and had been out looking for his wife's dog (I think she took the dog with her to work and the dog somehow got out of the car at the wreck site). I think the man was a little overwrought which is understandable. So I humored him and said the appropriate sentiments that you say during someones time of bereavement. I really can't remember what I said cause I was half asleep when I was saying them, but I didn't hurry him off the phone or anything like that. Afterwards, Eddie and I were unable to go back to sleep so we got up and I made breakfast and we watched a little television. Then we both were zoned out and took a nap, which has made me even more weary, blurry-eyed and just not functional. Why does that seem to happen?

Beware The Ides of March

The Ides of March is the name of the date 15 March in the Roman calendar. The term ides was used for the 15th day of the months of March, May, July and October, and the 13th day of the other eight months. In Roman times, the Ides of March was a festive day dedicated to the god Mars and a military parade was usually held.

In modern times, the term Ides of March is best known as the date that Julius Caesar was assassinated, in 44 BC, the story of which was famously dramatised in William Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar. The term has come to be used as a metaphor for impending doom.


I have another use for the term Ides of March, for that is the day that my husband and I conceived Shannon 24 years ago. I was having trouble conceiving and had to use a temperature chart and take fertility meds and was well aware of the exact date she was conceived. My pregnancy wasn't confirmed by the doctor until April 6th, but I knew way before then.

I think it would be cute if Shawn was born on this date because of the connection, but if it is not meant to be, maybe he could be born on Tuesday which is St. Patty's day.

Shannon I want you to remember that I recommended you name Shawn (Sean Patrick), but whatever. If he's born Tuesday the 17th, I might just have to call him Patrick. LOL

I am still patiently (but excitedly anxiously) awaiting the birth of my first grandchild.

My husband left me...

yep, you heard it right...my husband has left me. I am here at the house by myself with two dogs, 10 Barred Rock pullets and 3 Barred Rock cockerels and the television blaring "Cheyenne" on the western channel

AND HE LEFT ME!

He has...



and left me here to work.

I couldn't go with him because I need to get as many cases done as possible before my trip to stay with Shannon when she has my grandson, Shawn. I couldn't leave because I don't have a cell phone in case Shannon calls to tell me she has gone into labor. So I am kinda sad that he left me for happier pursuits which don't include me, but I'm happy for him and he will be ecstatic if he catches some big bream.



*On a sad note, please pray for the families that lost loved ones due to the rampage shooting spree in South Alabama yesterday. It is tragic to lose a loved one to any reason, but to lose a family member due to some stranger's anger seems to me would be life-shattering.

Today, in history, March 10

On March 10, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell conducted a successful experiment with the telephone. This breakthrough, during which he uttered his famous directive to his assistant, Thomas Watson, is recorded in the March 10 entry of his Lab Notebook.

What do you think AGB would say about the cell phones of today?

Identity of Loss

I read this in a book. I knew I had been suffering, but had no point of reference, and had no idea that something like this actually existed: “Identity of Loss” – or how loosing someone in one’s life causes a change in that person’s identity.

“I’m me, but I’m not me anymore. I am someone else, someone else without Anita in my life.”

Anita was my mother. My beautiful, engaging, tender-hearted mother, she was the life source from which energy flowed through me. She infused my soul with longing for better things. She uplifted me with her resonant harmony and happiness. She was as strong as steel, as soft as a feather, as pleasingly tasteful to the senses as listening to a symphony or biting into the ripest of fruit on a hot summer day. “She was my muse. I lost who I was the day she died. I had to become someone else.”

First and foremost, I became the adult female figure for my daughter. She, nor I, would be able to look to my mother for solace, comfort, and guidance ever again. How sad is that? I had now become the matriarch of my family and the one who had to fulfill that role for my daughter from then on. I was devastated for mine and Shannon’s sake, because being truthful as I can be, I will never come anywhere near the stature of the woman that my mother was.

Secondly, I became an orphan that day, as both my parents were now deceased and I, as such, became “parentless.” What a terrible thing to be, even at 45 years of age. I hate it. “I envy others who still have their parents living among them. I know that is a selfish attitude. My mother would say I was just being “gutty.”” I know death is inevitable, but I wish it hadn’t come for them so soon.

Third on this list, I was reeling from other life-altering events in my life, among them, the murder of my three Yorkshire puppies, Chester, Toto, and Pixie. The dogs’ murders ultimately led to the final death throes of my marriage to my ex-husband as he is bi-polar. I will add here, that the murder of the dogs was the catalyst for the actual pursuit of divorce, but by no means was it the sole reason for the destruction of the marriage, there were much more devastating character/esteem crushing blows of which I had endured for years (I won’t go into all the gory details). In any event, I had shaped my world to fit around those parameters (Can you say Chameleon?), but when my universe came crashing down around me (particularly, my Momma’s death), I ceased to exist as I had previously, (I couldn’t fake it anymore), I truly became a different person with a different outlook on life. I could no longer just accept a dull, non-existent marriage as enough for me for the rest of my life here on earth.

Some of my friends/relatives still seem to harbor some resentment and don’t have a clue as to what happened (it’s as if they feel I abandoned them.) I am always asking myself, “Were they not sitting in the funeral home with me? Could they not tell that I was dying inside? All because the one woman who could have consoled me during my time of grief was the one woman lying in the casket and that woman would never be able to console me, ever again).” I was totally bereft. They don’t seem to realize that for me the only way forward, the only way for me to survive the trauma was to become someone else; to adapt, which meant changing my surroundings (habitat) and shaking off my old ways and redirecting my persona in a totally different pattern.

However, in the midst of all this, God was looking out for me, he sent me someone I could love who loved me back, just the way I am (flaws and all) without wishing me to be any other way. This man truly loves me for me. He is very grounded and down to earth and keeps my feet firmly planted. But, as it goes, you know when you fall in love, you change (as if you are learning new dance steps with a new partner), with subtle nuances which alter the way you feel and act. And so I was changed, yet again.

Since then I have also had GBS surgery and lost approximately 120 pounds. That is mood, mind, and life-altering in and of itself. I have effectively changed my body, as well as my mind, to accept a healthier viewpoint of living. Therefore, I am not so focused on food, and as such, the food-ritualistic holiday family gatherings. The changes in my physical being (shape) and personality (mindset) have so completely transformed me into another person, that at times I don’t think people who knew me before quite know what to make of me. It’s strange how people (even within the same family) react differently to trauma/death and so forth. I tell myself repeatedly that when my Momma died, it also changed/affected the other people in my life, altering their life course as well.

Just suffice it to say, I am a new and different being from the person I was before. I am changed, but hopefully enough of me, still resides here in this mind and body that I am recognizable to the ones who matter and that is because my love for you has never changed, it’s still planted right here in my heart where it has always been.

Grapenuts with milk = stomach pains for this post GBS patient

I knew I shouldn't have had the milk, even if it is just skim milk. Why am I still so sensitive to milk 16 months out from surgery? Other people get to drink milk! Whine!!! Whine!!! I love milk and I can't have it, whine!!! whine!!!

Then I just had to add Grape Nuts cereal to the mix and man, oh man, what a stomach pain. It feels like Civil War artillery/cannons are going off in my abdominal cavity. Not a pleasant feeling and on top of all that I have developed a headache and a twitch in my right eye. Sounds lovely, right? You should have to see it and hear it, LOL!!

I have posted before that cheese, milk, potatoes make my stomach hurt, and of course, anything sugary. Get this, some people don't have that problem at all, but I am somewhat grateful that I do, so I tend to not even try to eat those fattening foods. If I do try something fattening or new, I get the "foamies" which start with me having a runny nose and sometimes end up being full blown retching of what I call "lather" bubbling up from my pouch/stoma. I don't do this all the time, but if I eat too fast, or eat too much, or eat the wrong things, this can happen.

I'm gonna go take something for my headache and lay down for a few minutes and see if that will help all these symptoms subside. What a morning.

I am reading "Barefoot" by Elin Hilderbrand

This excerpt I found somewhat amusing, as my (38 weeks) pregnant daughter, Shannon, nears her due date. This is for you, Shannon.

Vicki had entered into motherhood wholly unprepared. She had woken up confused when the nurse brought the baby into feed on the night he was born. The reality had sunk in, gradually, over the past four and a half years. This child is my responsibility. Mine. For the rest of my life.

Being a mother was the best of all human experiences, and also the most excruciating. Getting the baby to nurse, getting the baby to eat solids, getting the baby to sleep, the teething, the crying, the crawling, into everything, can't take my eyes off him for a second, a whole roll of toilet paper stuffed into the toilet, the first steps, the falling, the trips to the emergency room (Does he need stitches?), the Cheerios that stuck together and nearly choked him, the weaning from the breast, the bottle, the pacifier, the grating squeal of Elmo's voice, the first play-date, the hitting, the grabbing, the first word, Dada (Dada?), the second word, mine, the earaches, the diaper rash, the croup. It was a constant drone, all day, every day, occupying Vicki's hands, her eyes, her mind. Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Who did she used to be? She couldn't remember.

I'm not saying you are unprepared, I am saying that all first mothers are totally unprepared, even though you have been preparing for what seems like forever. I certainly was unprepared. You will find that this little baby boy is going to monopolize your every thought and deed for years to come, as well he should, and that's a good thing. I wouldn't take anything for the years I had with you, baby. You made my life complete.

It is funny that this excerpt only entails four and a half years time as that is the age of the character's oldest son, but I will tell you that she has not even entered into the hardest part yet. The teenage years are what undermines most parents. That's when the parents start getting gray hair and wrinkles. Teaching the child how to drive and then letting them take the car for their first joy ride by themselves. How excruciating. That was one of the most terrifying for me. Then how about letting them date, the constant worrying sets in then. The fool kids want to go off for Spring Break by themselves and then off to college. What a heartache? What a headache? But, so goes The Wonderful World of Parenthood." I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Love you, My Sweetie Pea!

Love,
Momma Goose

New pics of one of my baby chicks...

or should I say turkey buzzard. She is in the middle of loosing her fuzz and growing feathers.

This is how she looked when we got her at three days old.



This is how she looks now...




And this is how she is supposed to look full grown.




unless she/he is one of the roosters and she/he will look like this...

Daylight Savings Time and me don't mix

I don't mind falling back in the fall, but springing forward in the spring is cruel. I don't like losing sleep period, whether it's one hour or one minute. I would rather get my full eight hours or more. I am crabby without my shut-eye. I got up and made breakfast, then went over my Sunday school lesson one more time and then got ready. I had a cute little navy blue and white dress with a navy blue sweater and navy blue flats with little bows on them. I wore my pearl earrings and wore my hair curly. I went to Sunday school and church and then hurried back home. I made lunch for Eddie and I. Now I am sitting in front of the computer, but I am very dull and sleepy. I think I will go take a nap. Happy Snoozing, ya'll!

Firestarter

Eddie and I picked up sticks and then burnt them. We set them on fire. We built a bonfire with the limbs stacked on top of each other. The flames licked at the wood, crackling and roaring, consuming all the sticks we piled together. I wish I had some more to burn. I did not know I was a firebug!

Up early...

Up early and going to town. We are headed to G'Ville for breakfast and supplies. Probably will hit Wal-Market while we are there as we always do.

The chickens are growing. I need to take new pictures to post. They look like little buzzards right this minute. They are losing their fuzz (cuteness).

We are going to try and keep busy cleaing out the kitchen of the big house. Shannon if you need to call I will be checking the answering machine periodically just to be on the safe side.

Talk at you guys later. Got places to go and things to do, busy, busy, busy.

Pregnancy Watch 2009

For those of you who do not know, my daughter is 37 weeks pregnant.

She came down with a stomach virus yesterday and was violently ill. She had stomach pains which somewhat mimicked labor pains, so she called her doctor. He asked her to come into L&D for evaluation instead of going to ER as she is so close to term. She was put on an IV drip (two bags) as she was dehydrated and they found her to be anemic, so she has been instructed to take an iron supplement. He gave her some medication (Zofran) for the nausea and in the middle of the night sent her home. She is currently at home resting.

As for now, no baby yet...

Who else watches "Saving Grace?"

I know the show is rated MA for mature audiences and the show infers Grace's lack of belief in God. However, this series infuses us with a sense that deep down Grace's religion is a part of her and even though she has seen hard times that make her question her faith, God is inher heart. The show alludes that Earl, her last chance angel, is fighting for her even though she continues with her amoral pursuits which are a part of her sinful nature, but that he is there to serve her at God's bequest, as he feels that even though she is with sin, that she is worth saving as she saves other's lives everyday as a Oklahoma police detective.

I love Holly Hunter!

I'm close!

I'm close, REAL close, to having 4,000 visitors who have read my blog. From 54 countries no less, but I gather that I have probably visited my own blog at least a thousand times, ha ha!

Thanks for reading mine. I hope to read all of yours someday.

Snowy, cold, blustery weather screams for hot chocolate

The wind is howling down my chimney and the snow is falling. It's cold and dreary.

Puts me in mind of a warm fire, hot chocolate, and snuggling under a blanket with a good book.

I breathe in the fragrant aroma as I sip at my mug of hot cocoa, mmmmm, such a nice relaxing scent. The flavor is exquisite and the heat radiates warmth all the way to my tummy.

Hope you have a nice Sunday as I am nice and cozy, snoozing by the fire.

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